Freaky Friday. But it was Sunday.

I was sitting innocently in my phone nook, thinking about Belinda, a really fine brown squirrel from the East Side who could pack more nuts in her cheeks than any other squirrel, when the human pulled me out of my reverie.

It was Halloween.  She had plans for me. 

I watched, laughing, as the Mutt Dog was dressed up.  He was pissed, and completely ashamed.  She pulled the costume over his head, strapped the velcro, put up his cute furry tail and...What the Fuck!?!  He was dressed as ME!

That bastard.

But that wasn't all.  Not only was the Epstein name blighted forever, but this is what I was forced to do:

They made me into the dog.

I swear, with Mother Nature as my witness, if I wasn't dead and stuffed I would so bring the worst case of rabies to these people.  I hope you had a nice Halloween, because I sure as hell didn't.

Love,

Todd