Monday, April 26, 2010

My Quest to Kill the Dog

Hello Hot Toddies.  It's been a long time since I've been in touch, and that's because I've been in a place no squirrel likes to be:  Underground.

Almost two long months ago, The Dog at my house killed my cousin, Asa.

Rest in peace, Asa.  You deserved better.

So I spent the last couple of months stalking The Dog and plotting his death.  Oh, and I caught a couple of Ok Go! shows.  (The Chicago show kicked ass.)  Here is some documentation of my efforts:
 I tried to shoot the dog, but he was like Neo in The Matrix, and turned his head in slow motion just in time for the bullet to whiz past his head.  Dogs are all about the whizzing.

The Dog lunged at me, but as I used my mad squirrel Ninja skills on him, my blade deflected off of his steel nose.  I was foiled again.  This was no ordinary stupid dog.  I could not defeat him whisker to whisker.

The old "Shoe Polish in the Dog Food" trick.  But alas...

The Dog Lives.

But this isn't over, not by a long shot.  I will need to go to The Council of Squirrels next month  to decide how The Dog will be dealt with.  In the interim, I have been busy taking your questions.  Later this week I will answer the question sent in regarding "salad tossing".  This topic is near and dear to my heart, because I have tossed a salad or two in my day. 

Thanks for tuning in, my lovely little Squirrel People.  And remember, Whether by kung fu, weapon or pill, The Dog will soon be kill....ed.  (Sorry, I've just returned from Asa'a wake.)