Nesting is for Lovers

Happy Valentine's Day from me, Todd.

I love Valentine's Day.  The women start the day all flushed with expectation, and the men start the day anxious.  Then the men end the day all flushed with expectation, and the women end the day anxious.  It's the kind of tail-chasing we squirrels can appreciate.

The taxidermied advice squirrel is your God.  Worship me.

Whoops!  Did I just say that?  I don't mean it, really.  It's just that ever since I was shot and stuffed, I don't think right.  I'm harmless, ignore me.  It's the booze.
(I own your soul.)

This week's letter comes from Kim in Vail, who can't get her husband to clean up after himself.  Have you ever wondered where squirrel poop goes?  I don't .  We're as clean as we need to be, and that's that. 

A READER ASKS:

Dear Crazy Stuffed Squirrel -

My husband is a sloth, and leaves his stuff all over the place.  How do I get him to clean up after himself?

I need answers, Todd.

Kim in Vail

Kelly, I've looked at your letter through my all-seeing glass eye, and I do have some advice for you:

TODD ANSWERS:

Take your boyfriend's clothes from the floor of your home.  Lay them in a circular shape on the floor of your living room or kitchen.  Keep building those clothes up until they are at least two feet high and make a nice cushy place to rest.  Then take off all of your clothes and sit Indian-style in the middle.  Eat something messy, like peanuts or goldfish crackers.  Wait until he gets home, look up at him with a big smile, and say, "I'm going to build one of these every day with the cool stuff I find on the floor!"  If you can manage to vomit on his things, or give birth to a litter of baby squirrels, that will help your cause.


I hope this helps your problem.

Thanks for your question, Karla!  If you have any questions for me, please send them to:
todd.hotnuts@gmail.com.  I have a number of pressing issues to address, thanks so much for your questions so far.  Have a great day, relax, and remember:  

With a nod of my head and a flick of my tail, my advice to you will never fail! 

Love, Todd